GURUJI'S VISIT TO BIRD PARK

According to our guruji, he had visited a famous bird park in Ganges in a good faith. He sent the editors some of the photos which he had taken from the bird park. However the Sotumadu family suspects that the guruji again affected by mental disorder. This is due to his visit to the bird park instead of his ultimate motive for prayer. We hereby upload the photos as his request.

Joke Corner

Sperm Count

An 85-year-old went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."

The next day, the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained:

"Well, doc, it's like this - First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. she tried with her right hand, then her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing."

"We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"

The old man replied, "Yep, And no matter what we tried, we still couldn't get the jar open."

Bigfoot sighted in Kampung Perepat!

A supposed Bigfoot has been reported following sightings in Kampung Perepat yesterday. Rela were called when several homeless people witnessed a "big hairy creature" over 6 foot tall kill a stray cat and drag it in to the woods.
More news to follow

PHOTOS FROM GURUJI

The team of editors with pleasure upload some of the amazing pictures sent by our beloved guruji that he had taken in Ganges by his new I-phone for your view. See and feel it.

TEAM OF EDITORS

GURUJI IS IN GANGES FOR PRAYERS AND MEDITATION

Our beloved guruji is is currently attending prayers and meditation in Ganges for the benefit of this blog and also the readers. He requested all of us to be calm until his important announcement upon returning from Ganges. Here we upload his photo while meditation in Ganges which he forwarded to us trough his new I-Phone (as above). Meanwhile we provide 10 important messages from our Guruji after treatment from psychiatric for your guidance. Hope his messages assist you.

1. QUIT WORRYING:

Life has dealt you a blow and all you do is sit and worry.

Have you forgotten that I am here to take all your burdens and carry them for you? Or do you just enjoy fretting over every little thing that comes your way?

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2. PUT IT ON THE LIST:

Something needs done or taken care of. Put it on the list. No, not YOUR list. Put it on MY to-do-list. Let ME be the one to take care of the problem. I can’t help you until you turn it over to Me.

And although My to-do-list is long, I am after all… God. I can take care of anything you put into My hands. In fact, if the truth were ever really known, I take care of a lot of things for you that you never even realize.

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3. TRUST ME:

Once you’ve given your burdens to Me, quit trying to take them back.

Trust in Me. Have the faith that I will take care of all your needs, your problems and your trials. Problems with the kids? Put them on My list. Problem with finances? Put it on My list. Problems with your emotional roller coaster? For My sake, put it on My list.

I want to help you. All you have to do is ask.

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4. LEAVE IT ALONE:

Don’t wake up one morning and say, “Well, I’m feeling much stronger now, I think I can handle it from here.” Why do you think you are feeling stronger now? It’s simple. You gave Me your burdens and I’m taking care of them.

I also renew your strength and cover you in my peace. Don’t you know that if I give you these problems back, you will be right back where you started? Leave them with Me and forget about them. Just let Me do my job.

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5. TALK TO ME:

I want you to forget a lot of things. Forget what was making you crazy.

Forget the worry and the fretting because you know I’m in control. But there’s one thing I pray you never forget. Please, don’t forget to talk to Me - OFTEN! I love YOU! I want to hear your voice. I want you to include Me in on the things going on in your life.
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6. HAVE FAITH:

I see a lot of things from up here that you can’t see from where you are.

Have faith in Me that I know what I’m doing. Trust Me; you wouldn’t want the view from My eyes. I will continue to care for you, watch over you, and meet your needs. You only have to trust Me.

Although I have a much bigger task than you, it seems as if you have so much trouble just doing your simple part. How hard can trust be?

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7. SHARE:

You were taught to share when you were only two years old. When did you forget? That rule still applies. Share with those who are less fortunate than you. Share your joy with those who need encouragement.

Share your laughter with those who haven’t heard any in such a long time. Share your tears with those who have forgotten how to cry. Share your faith with those who have none.

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8. BE PATIENT:

I managed to fix it so in just one lifetime you could have so many diverse experiences. You grow from a child to an adult, have children, change jobs many times, learn many trades, travel to so many places, meet thousands of people, and experience so much.

How can you be so impatient then when it takes Me a little longer than you expect to handle something on My to-do-list? Trust in My timing, for My timing is perfect. Just because I created the entire universe in only six days, everyone thinks I should always rush, rush, rush.
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9. BE KIND:

Be kind to others, for I love them just as much as I love you. They may not dress like you, or talk like you, or live the same way you do, but I still love you all. Please try to get along, for My sake.

I created each of you different in some way. It would be too boring if you were all identical. Please, know I love each of your differences.

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10. LOVE YOURSELF:

As much as I love you, how can you not love yourself? You were created by me for one reason only — to be loved, and to love in return. I am a God of Love. Love Me. Love your neighbors. But also love yourself.

It makes My heart ache when I see you so angry with yourself when things go wrong. You are very precious to me, Don’t ever forget.

THE REASON FOR MAD COW DESEASE

A female reporter was conducting an interview with a farmer about Mad Cow Disease. "Mr. Brown, do you have any idea what might be the cause of the disease?"

"Sure. Do you know the bulls only screw the cows once a year?"

"Umm, sir, that is a new piece of information, but what's the relationship between this and Mad Cow?"

"And did you know we milk the cows twice a day?"

"Mr. Brown, that's interesting, but, what's the point?"

"Lady, the point is this: if I'm playing with your tits twice a day, but only screwing you once a year, wouldn't you go mad, too?"

SOTUMADU BLOGSPOT ACTIVE BACK

The sotumadu blogspot went silent for almost a year due to uncertainty on the guruji's health. Now our guruji is alright after issuance of certificate of fitness from psychiatric. As a first step we have given you a sensational story below. We apologise for not translating it in English. The desk of editors set our hands to opologise to the readers.

Team of Editors

LEMBU BERBANDING DENGAN MANUSIA

Saya dan isteri telah pergi melawat ke satu ladang lembu dan kami berhenti di setiap kandang tempat lembu lembu di biak.

Kami sampai di kandang pertama dan ada satu papan tanda yang di letakkan yang menyatakan,

LEMBU JANTAN INI TELAH MENGAWAN SEBANYAK 50 KALI TAHUN LEPAS.

[IMAGE]


Isteri saya secara jenaka mencuit saya dan dalam senyum berkata :
'Dia mengawan 50 kali tahun lepas.'




Kami kemudian pergi ke kandang kedua yang ada papan tanda berikut :
''LEMBU JANTAN INI TELAH MENGAWAN SEBANYAK 150 KALI TAHUN LEPAS '

[IMAGE]
Sekali lagi isteri saya mencuit saya dan berkata :,
'WOW~~Itu dah lebih dari dua kali seminggu..........Abang boleh belajar banyak dari dia .'


Kami berjalan pula ke kandang seterusnya dan di situ ada papan tanda dalam huruf besar yang menyatakan :

'LEMBU JANTAN INI TELAH MENGAWAN SEBANYAK 365 KALI TAHUN LEPAS'

[IMAGE]

Isteri saya menjadi girang dan mencuit saya dengan kuat dan berkata :
'Itu bermakna sekali setiap hari .... Abang MEMANG boleh belajar banyak dari lembu jantan ini " !!!


Saya pun pandang isteri saya dan berkata kepada nya,"
'Awak pergi tanya lembu jantan ini, selama 365 hari itu, adakah dengan LEMBU BETINA TUA YANG SAMA ??

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